Ask a man to name a film that touched a nerve, brought some uncomfortable emotions to the surface or even made him weep like an infant.

He might not answer. He might talk about "Hoosiers" or "Rudy," sports-based films that hit some men where they live.

Or he might mention the one that left me sobbing, sitting in the dark all through the credits and as the lights came up in the theater, with my wife, mother and sister - along with the cleaning crew - waiting quietly but impatiently for me to get my butt out of my seat so the rest of our lives could commence.

All because Kevin Costner said, "Hey dad ¦ you wanna have a catch?"

Hollywood doesn't always do father-son relationships well, or seriously, or both. Oh, sure, you've got your epic treatments such as the "Godfather" and "Star Wars" series. But even those aren't strictly father-son flicks. They involve good versus evil, light versus dark, crime versus justice.

Compared with the number of mother-daughter films made and continuing to be produced, it's almost as though moviemakers are afraid of doing the whole father-son thing at all, much less attempting to do it well.

Maybe that's because reflecting an upbeat, healthy father-son relationship is boring. And reflecting a bad one can seem ¦ well, whiny.

So it's easier to treat a poor relationship in joking fashion, perhaps best exemplified by Mike Myers' "Daddy Wasn't There" song from "Austin Powers in Goldmember." It may touch on something real, but complaining about daddy not taking you to the fair or changing your underwear leads to the conclusion that the complaints are insignificant.

They are, naturally. They don't touch on the real issues of the relationship.

Meanwhile, "Field of Dreams," the film that left me weeping in the theater, does. The father-son split is not a dramatic confrontation on film. We don't see it. We only hear about it, the way we would if we were just dropped into these people's lives.

Kevin Costner's character reads a book - written by J.D. Salinger stand-in Terrence Mann - and refuses to play catch with his father again. He lives to regret it.

As Costner begins to wonder about the kind of man his father was before the world beat him down, he develops an understanding both of his father and the crushing (and unintended) blow his declining a simple game of catch was.

Since as sons all we can ever guarantee we'll do is disappoint our fathers at some point in our lives, having the consequence of that disappointment stare us in the face from the movie screen - well, that's pretty powerful stuff.

(Thank goodness for Amy Madigan's unbelievably fantastic performance as Costner's wonderfully funny, loving and believable wife. Madigan's work here, her best performance in a career filled with great performances, keeps things from tripping into the overwrought or maudlin.)

My father died (sadly young) eight years before the release of "Field of Dreams," and before his passing, we'd managed to patch up many of the differences that set us apart through my teenage years. So my wounds weren't as fresh as they might have been.

And "Field of Dreams," from VHS to DVD, has always been a part of my home video collection.

You'll forgive me, though, if it's not the film that gets pulled out Sunday. It won't keep me, however, from wishing my own father was around so we could sit down and watch it together.

Guys, make sure to round up dad this weekend for a get-together, if it's at all possible. Take him to dinner or - even better in Guyworld - grill him a meal. Participate in that thing he loves and you're indifferent to.

But if it's a competitive event - cards, chess, horseshoes, hoops - give no quarter. The only thing that's going to tick dad off more than losing to you is if you don't give it your full effort.

Tim Cain can be reached at timcain@herald-review.com or 421-6908.