DECATUR - When Ann Weis was 16 years old, she was faced with a heartbreaking decision.

She was about to give birth. Her choices were to get married, raise the baby by herself, have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption.

She chose to have the baby but give him up.

"It was the worst time in my life, but it was the best thing in the world," recalled Weis, 40, a Forsyth resident who grew up in Minnesota.

Weis, who recently located the son she gave up 24 years ago, meets regularly with a group of women who have also given up children for adoption.

She has spoken on the phone with her birth son, who lives in Colorado. She hopes someday to meet him face to face.

Weis believes meeting with other birth mothers is helping prepare her for that day.

"I can use the experiences of the people who've gone before me, so I won't make mistakes in the reunion," Weis said. "I think it's healthy to have a better understanding from those who've walked the path before me."

Dorothy Tribbett, 67, one of the charter members of the group, has walked that path twice.

The first time she was reunited in 2003 with a daughter - whom she gave up in 1960. It took her a few years to locate Roseann Higgins, a resident of Phoenix, Ariz. They had a friendly reunion and have established an ongoing relationship.

"I love Roseann, and it has been wonderful," Tribbett said. "It's a journey. We have become closer since we met. Roseann was looking for me, so we both wanted to reunite right away."

Her youngest daughter, given up for adoption in 1962, was located in November.

"We are in the process of reuniting," she said. "She was not looking for me, so we are writing letters, and it is processing slowly."

The birth mothers group was started last summer to help women who are reuniting or considering reuniting with their children.

Tribbett said it has helped her to have a more positive attitude during the process and has been a source of support and comfort. She has also been meeting with another adoption support group in Bloomington, Healing Hearts.

There were seven women at a recent birth mothers meeting in Decatur.

During the meeting, Weis told the group the son she located last year has a son of his own.

"You're a grandmother, too," one of the women told her cheerfully.

"I'm not," Weis responded forcefully. "I don't feel like a grandmother. I don't feel like he's my son, because I haven't seen him yet."

Weis gave birth to her son in Colorado while staying temporarily with an uncle and aunt.

Now married with four children at home, she said she never had a yearning to find the son she gave up when she was a teen. But she volunteers as an advocate at the New Life Pregnancy Center, and she signed up with the birth parent registry in Colorado partly to understand the process to better help her clients.

"I wanted to find out what the registry does," she said.

However, she soon learned her birth son had signed up with Colorado's adopted person registry just two months earlier.

When both parties sign up with registries, they are then both given the other's information. In this case, Weis was contacted by an intermediary about one month after she registered.

"I was really scared at first," Weis recalled. "I was scared, I was excited. I had said, in my mind, that it would never happen. For some reason, God opened the doors."

The two have talked on the phone and exchanged pictures. Weis is looking forward to meeting him.

Her main concern about the meeting is that somebody might get hurt in the process, such as the adoptive parents. Her fears were partly allayed when she received a letter from the adoptive mother, who said she wants to meet Weis.

"My son's mother is delighted," Weis said.

The adoptive mother told her: "I have often thought of you and hoped we would meet. I think this is the best thing for our son and you to meet."

Weis recalled that when the young man was born in 1981, she just asked to see him one time.

"I just wanted to see the hands, feet, fingers and toes," she recalled. "I chose not to hold the baby. It'd be too hard for me."

She said giving up a child is like having a loved one die.

"You do feel a sense of loss," she said. "It stays for a while. It is something you never forget."

After the birth, she returned to school, but nothing was the same.

"Your whole life changes," she said. "You go back with your friends. You're a mother, but you're not a mother."

She was still a teenager but had lost something.

"It's not goofy or lighthearted anymore," she said. "When you're pregnant and go through the nine months, you're serious. The ramifications of pregnancy never end."

Weis said she hopes having a reunion with her birth son will help him to know in his heart that he is loved.

"He knows that from his adoptive parents," she said. "He knows I love him. I am proud of him and who he is."

Huey Freeman can be reached at hfreeman@;herald-review.com or 421-6985.

Newstracker

The latest: The Decatur Birth Mothers Group offers advice and support for women who are reuniting or considering reuniting with their children.

What's next: The group, which meets at 6:30 p.m. on the third Monday of the month at Decatur Prayer Center, 2193 N. Water St., will meet again on March 21. Call Dorothy Tribbett, 423-2355 or 855-5784 for more information.