DECATUR - Betty Gaumer knew what it was like to be a military wife.

Her husband, Dave, was serving a stint in the Air Force when they were wed.

"We married before he went to Korea," said Betty Gaumer, who had just completed her nursing training at that time. "I was thinking of joining the Air Force as a flight nurse, but he came back."

When her son, David, a career Army officer, went overseas, she discovered what millions of mothers have gone through: the worries and fears of knowing your child is in harm's way.

"When David was overseas in Bosnia, I had no communication with anybody with similar interests and anxieties to exchange information and feelings," Betty Gaumer said.

A few years later, after the United States invaded Afghanistan following 9/11 and was preparing to attack Iraq, Betty Gaumer had the idea to begin a support group for military families. When she told her pastor, the Rev. Danny Cox of Grace United Methodist Church, he agreed to let her use the church's facilities.

"We're a faith-based group," Betty Gaumer said. "We pray at the beginning and end of each meeting. We get strength from that."

Fifteen people showed up at the first meeting on Feb. 24, 2003. Since then, about 300 people, mostly parents, wives and grandparents of service members, have attended the weekly meetings.

The group was named Operation Enduring Support in honor of the original name of the war in Afghanistan, Operation Enduring Freedom.

Three weeks after the first meeting, soldiers began fighting in Iraq. Several Operation Enduring Support members had sons in the invasion's first wave.

"That's really what jelled the group," Betty Gaumer said. "Early on, we knew this wasn't just a group to pack boxes and do knitting. We're there to support each other."

The members still were getting acquainted with each other when they received the news that Vicky Langley's son, Marine Pvt. Jonathan Gifford, was missing in action, just one week after the war began.

Langley, who has been comforting other Gold Star mothers throughout the state for the past five years, has rarely missed a group meeting. Langley said group members, who are like family to her, have helped her cope with the death of her only child.

"It's meant a lot to me," Langley said. "I miss Jonny. I still miss him. Nobody can take his place. But having them be there for me and help me means a lot."

The group, which received an Illinois Homefront Hero Award from Lt. Gov. Pat Quinn in December, has sent about 3,000 parcels to men and women serving overseas. Group members have sewn neck coolers for soldiers in Iraq and knitted helmet liners for troops in Afghanistan. Members attend coming home ceremonies and funerals for Central Illinois service members killed in action, sending donations to their memorial funds and prayer shawls to their families.

When group members heard of a military family stranded in Effingham with a disabled vehicle, en route to meeting a soldier back from Iraq, they gave the family $500.

When the Iraq war began, charter group members Lori and Gary Siefman had one son, Jeff, in Iraq with the 82nd Airborne Division and another, Brett, in the Navy. Their third son, Adam, joined the Marines the following year.

Lori Siefman recalls that the group helped her tremendously, especially because she had no previous experience with the military.

"If I had a bad day, people in the group understood why," Lori Siefman said, adding that her co-workers did not always understand why she was down. "We've made great friendships there."

She recalled the shock of hearing that Gifford had been killed.

"It was like a reality check, that we maybe had lulled ourselves into thinking it would not happen to us," Lori Siefman said. "We realized it can happen to us at any time. We could get that knock on the door."

The group has helped the Siefmans through Jeff Siefman's two Iraq deployments, Adam Siefman's stint in Iraq and Brett Siefman's tour on a ship delivering Marines to the Persian Gulf. Two of their sons experienced symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

"I don't think that Gary and I could have made it through everything we've been through without the support and love and caring of that group," Lori Siefman said.

Recent members also appreciate the help they have received.

Suzanne Mitchell began attending in December, shortly after her 21-year-old son, Army Pfc. Alan Guffy, left for Iraq.

"It did help through the holidays," Mitchell said. "It was hard for me over the holidays. This is our first Christmas away from each other. It's been him and I since he was 3. Now, it's just me."

Mitchell said she looks forward to the Monday evening meetings, especially because the group members are such great listeners.

"It's been a godsend," she said. "It has helped me cope. If I need to cry, I can cry here. It's basically helped me feel a whole lot better, to know there are other people that are going through what I am going through."

Huey Freeman can be reached at hfreeman@herald-review.com or 421-6985.