DECATUR - Matthew and Leigh Ann Grossman have emerged from the tragedy of their young son's death with a vision of helping others.

Jacob Grossman, who died in an accident Nov. 11, 2005, three months shy of his second birthday, inspired his parents to build a garden to bring light to the lives of others who are grieving.

"When you feel like you can help other people, it does maybe subconsciously help you," Leigh Ann Grossman said.

The Grossmans hope a place that honors the memories of deceased children will bring comfort.

"It's somewhere to go to remember your child that's not a cemetery," Leigh Ann Grossman said. "It's more of an encouraging, uplifting atmosphere."

Matthew Grossman, a landscape architect, designed the garden to be built on the grounds of Baby TALK, a group that teaches parents to nurture children during their early years.

The garden, which will include an outdoor theater setting, sculpture, memorial brick garden and wildflowers, will be constructed later this year.

Claudia Quigg, Baby TALK director, and Betsy Osman, the group's development director, came up with the idea of a memorial garden. Matthew Grossman said landscaper Kevin McSherry, his former employer, gave him the idea to contact the ladies.

Osman said the garden will be used for various purposes, including classes and concerts.

"This is a living garden," Osman said.

The Decatur Park District, which leases the land to Baby TALK, approved of the project.

"It looks wonderful," said Don Luy, parks commissioner, after viewing the plan at a recent board meeting. "I think it enhances the city."

Matthew Grossman, who works full time as a stay-at-home dad for his two young children and part time as a landscape architect, said designing the garden has been good therapy.

"You find out how many other families have had the same tragedy," he said. "It's not as rare as I thought it was."

A memorial for other children

The garden will provide opportunities for grieving parents to memorialize their children, by purchasing trees or inscribed bricks for the patio.

For more information on the garden, call Osman at 475-2234 or e-mail betsy@babytalk.org.

Generous donors already have stepped forward, including one who is paying 95 percent of the construction costs. A group of employees who work with a man who has lost two children are paying for a stone wall.

Quigg said the firms that plan to help build the garden have offered generous discounts.

"It is a garden for the community," Matthew Grossman said, adding that there will be a spectacular display of perennials.

While the plans are nearly complete, it has not been decided what kind of sculpture to include, nor who the sculptor will be.

"It will probably never be completely done," Matthew Grossman said.

A privilege to have Jake

Leigh Ann Grossman said she and her husband have been able to heal from the shock of Jacob's loss because of their faith and because they had to rally to care for their young daughter.

"Our daughter was 6 weeks old at the time (of the accident)," Leigh Ann Grossman said. "That was a huge help in just getting up every day and continuing with our daily life. We had to keep on. We felt that God really put her there at that exact time for that reason."

Leigh Ann Grossman said a large network of family and friends, especially fellow parishioners at St. Paul's Lutheran Church, helped tremendously.

"It was terrible, but I don't think we were ever at the point where we felt completely like we ever hit the bottom, where we just couldn't go on," she said. "I think God really lifted us up. These are our children, but above that, these are God's children, given to us to raise for him. If he was only going to be there for those 20 months, I guess it was like a privilege that we got him."

Huey Freeman can be reached at hfreeman@herald-review.com or 421-6985.