I try to avoid complaining about my job, because I know what people who actually have to work for a living have to do, and I'm not at all equipped for that.

I remember having a crisis of confidence at age 15 or 16 and telling my highway construction-worker father that I wasn't sure I could contribute to society suitably. I didn't have the ability to do the physical labor he did. My contributions, I realized, could only be to use my communication to help people think about things.

I'd hoped for a pat on the back and a "That's OK, son, we all have our roles."

Unfortunately, I chose to dump this revelation on Dad when he'd had a bad day at work, and things at home (with two temperamental teenagers - like there's any other kind) had dissolved into a fever pitch of hormones, hatred, recriminations and anger.

So what he said was, "I think you'd better get your butt into bed."

And of course, he was right.

What shoved me off in this direction of reminiscence was a quote from Solange Knowles, sister of the considerably more-famous singer-actress-advertising-and-life-icon Beyonce Knowles. Solange is reluctant to discuss her older sister and recently said, "I've answered that question, and then that'll be the one thing from a 40-minute interview that gets any play. That is what becomes frustrating. It's a little repetitive."

I've been on the other end of those discussions. The most famous one was a couple of years ago, at the conclusion of an interview with Foreigner drummer Jason Bonham, in advance of the band's appearance at the Illinois State Fair.

"You know," he said, "you're the only interviewer in 15 or 20 years who hasn't asked me about my old man."

His "old man," of course, was and is John Bonham, the drummer for Led Zeppelin who died in 1980.

Growing up in a small town allowed me to see firsthand how even offhand mentions of relatives' names can throw people for an unnecessary loop. Young men being called by their older brother's (or, heaven forbid, their FATHER'S) name, a younger sibling being compared unfairly to an older one - it's nasty and messy and uncomfortable.

The flip side of the discussion from my reporting point of view came years ago as a sportswriter. A young female athlete was finally escaping her successful older sister's shadow and was preparing to announce her decision on accepting a college scholarship. The family chose to make me the recipient of their initial public announcement.

She had accepted a free ride to a large university - the same one her sister was attending.

As it happened, she made her choice for all the right reasons, which she detailed as we chatted. But I had to ask about her attending the same school as her sister. She answered the question well, but the conversation chilled considerably.

A few minutes later - clearly after frantic phone conversations between athlete, parents and coach - her coach called me and expressed concern regarding my question about the older sister.

My response was, "The story is about (the younger sibling), not (the older sibling). But you can't ignore that both of them will be at the same school. If (the younger sibling) doesn't think this is going to be a topic of discussion, she's got some stuff to learn."

It's easy to have empathy for Solange Knowles. One of the difficult things about being a younger sibling is carving your own niche, making people aware you are something more than an extension of your family name.

But in a reporter's world, and in a readers' world, you can't be silly enough to think that the question isn't going to at least occur to a few people.

n o n

My mistake. The Decatur Jaycees not only had a haunted house last year at the Decatur-Macon County Fairground, they're going to have another one this year.

My column in the Sept. 12 Herald & Review was incorrect about the Jaycees' not having a house last year. The group had one last year and is presenting its 30th edition next month.

This year's haunted house at the fairground opens Oct. 17 and runs Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays through Halloween. Hours will be 7:30 to 11 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and 7:30-9 p.m. Sunday. Admission is $6, $4 for those under 12, with a $1 discount for a canned good donation.

In addition, a family day is scheduled from 2 to 4 p.m. Oct. 26. The $2 admission will benefit the Decatur chapter of the American Red Cross. Activities include a friendly tour of the haunted house with child-friendly ghosts, trick or treating, games and a 3 p.m. costume contest with prizes.

That will be a fair amount of haunting for Decatur folks, with Decatur Celebration running a haunted house as well.

"We wish everyone good luck in the haunted house season," Jaycees president Tanya Lee said, "and hope to see an increase in our attendance due to having more than.;one house in the area to attend."

timcain@herald-review.com|421-6908